James 4:17

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

It seems pretty straight forward.

Right
Wrong

God designed me with a strong sense of both of those. However, I also naturally lean toward rebelliousness. So when I screw up, I can't look at God and claim, "I didn't know what I was doing." He and I both know better. There have been times in my life when I have metaphorically looked God in the eye, face brazen like a stubborn child, and told Him I was choosing something other than Him.

And in my mind's eye, I see His face and my heart is broken at the way my words and actions hurt Him. Maybe that's why it is so easy to do sometimes - I can't see His face other than in my mind, and I can choose to block that image out. But I can feel His heart. And though I know I am stepping into the wrong thing, His heart beats in my chest and thankfully, He wins out eventually. He doesn't let go of this ridiculously stubborn child.

He seems to let me go so far down a path and then reminds me with His loving-kindness that I am His. Sometimes it's as simple as His whisper carried on spring breezes that kiss my face. Other times, it comes from the lips of a friend who believes in me more than I would ever dare. And I then find myself in a place of brokenness that feels far deeper than the stony theological term "sin".

And I am again faced with the fact that my reality is His grace.

And His grace is a whole other can of worms. There are days when I wonder how He could ever love someone like me. I wonder why He chose me when He knew I would rebel like this. But isn't that just what grace is? Isn't that His loving-kindness in action? Doesn't that draw me in to love Him more?

Right
Wrong

When I stop being selfish and rebellious, the choice is a no-brainer. Even if doing the right thing hurts in the present, isn't it better than dealing with the natural consequences of sin and the pain of knowing I have grieved the One who gave everything to save me?