John 11:33-35

"When Jesus saw [Mary] weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" He asked.
"Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept.

Often quoted for being the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35 gives me hope this week.

On the plane ride from the Carolina's back to PA, I was overwhelmed with the thought that I have become somewhat of a modern-day nomad in the last six years of my life. I feel as though I am not at home anywhere, yet I feel at home everywhere. It is a paradox that I am still working out - but I don't see it changing anytime in the near future. I suspect I will keep moving around for the years to come.

Coming back to PA after a trip out West (and to SC) has proven to be just about all I can handle. Tears have threatened my eyes too many times to count in the past week.

Perhaps it is because I realized just how tough the last two months have been by being away. Perhaps it was because I connected so well with others out West and have struggled to do that here to the same level. Perhaps it is because I felt like I was coming "home" to a strange place after feeling so at home all week, but knowing that this is supposed to be home. Perhaps it is because there is no true escape for me here - no place of complete peace. Perhaps it is because disappointment still hits me hard, even when I try to ignore it. Perhaps it is because everything in my life keeps transitioning, nothing seems to be stable. Perhaps it is because I'm a fragile person who can only take so much of this life before my heart overflows with all the losses.

Regardless of what it is that has caused this stream of tears in my heart, I take comfort in the fact that my very Saviour shed His own tears at the difficulties endured in this life. He was no stranger to this road of transition and loss. It was all around Him. And yet, shedding tears was not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of humanity. That is a Saviour that I can identify with.

It has taken me a long time and many counseling sessions to realize that it is ok to cry. I try not to, but then I realize that it is a gift that God gave us. The human heart needs a form of release. It can be a sign of brokenness and pain, but it is not a sign of a faltering faith.