Hebrews 13:5b

..."I will never leave you nor forsake you."

These eight simple words can make a world of difference to the sinking soul. They can speak life to the one with dying dreams. And they can speak of incredible love to the one looking back and recounting the past.

The latter is where this night finds me. I have been through ten months of floundering; feeling certain that I got off God's path and was so disoriented, couldn't find my way back onto it. The time of feeling lost brought significant pain, wounds, and disappointment. God could have easily protected me from the hurtful words of others. He could have easily shielded my heart from the struggle with forgiveness that I now battle. He could have made my life not so difficult. But the simple fact that He let those things happen speaks volumes.

My God is all-powerful. If He lets something happen, it is because He can use it for good in some way. Part of me can't fathom what good can come of what has happened in past months, but I know good will come; that He will be glorified in some way. It is in the midst of struggle that I learn to be more like Him. It is also in the midst of struggle that I forget what He said.

The words come quietly at first, and then intensify in volume and frequency as time goes on...to the point where I can hear nothing but the breaking of my heart. "God has left you here alone. He doesn't care." But those are lies. God said that He would never leave nor forsake me. And He is one person that can be taken at His word...so when it doesn't feel like He's there, I have to trust in my mind that He's there watching ever so carefully over His child as she learns through life's struggles. And in the end, He is good...He always was and always will be. He loves His children, so sometimes He allows struggles and at other times He blesses us with gifts that make our hearts rejoice...which can only mean His smile is reflected in our delight.